


The Goatman of Derry, Maine

by orphan_account



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Buzzfeed: Worth It (Web Series), IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Andrew as Stan, Fluff and Angst, IT AU, M/M, Ryan as Eddie, Shane as Richie, Steven as Bill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-03-27 09:21:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13877898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The hackneyed old house looked like it was just waiting for a couple of curious teenagers to intrude upon it. Lucky for it, they were the teenagers stupid enough.OrThe It AU no one would write so I took it upon myself to write.





	1. The House on Neibolt Street

**Author's Note:**

> Or: everyone is always annoyed with Shane and his antics

"Guys, come on. This place is hardly scary at all."

The ramshackle, castle-like house that stood before them, with its boarded-up windows and deteriorating wooden exterior, agreed to disagree with Steven's previous statement. 

The four of them shined their flashlights upon the aged door of the building, being their only source of light in the heavy darkness, as no street lamps were to be found in the rural area of Neibolt Street.

The hackneyed old house looked like it was just _waiting_ for a couple of curious teenagers to intrude upon it. Lucky for _it,_ they were the teenagers stupid enough.

"I'm telling you, that Fulmer Gang's probably just trying to spook us out of town again," Steven asserted, making his way up the steps to the front porch.

"Of course they are. There's no such thing as a  _Goatman,_ " Andrew replied.

"Well, I'm not saying the Goatman legend _isn't_ true," Steven said, and Andrew rolled his eyes at him. "But Ned and his bully friends tell us lies to scare us all the time. I wouldn't put it past them to make up stories about some demon who haunts a house that hasn't been owned in, what, a hundred years?"

"One-hundred and twenty-six," Andrew supplied, and Steven hummed, motioning for the others to come on up with him.

But Ryan only gulped, backing away from the terrifying, towering building with his flashlight shaking in his grip.

"Y-You all told me we were going trick-or-treating, not to some horror house in the middle of nowhere!" he shouted, his teeth chattering on every vowel. "This place gives me the creeps!"

"The Goatman isn't real, you knucklehead," Shane teased, immediately slinging an arm around Ryan's shoulder in an effort to calm his poor friend. "Ned's just an asshole who's trying to get at your goat." He spat all over the ground as he broke out into uproarious laughter. "Ha! Get it? Your goat!"

"Not the time, Shane!" Ryan began unzipping the fanny pack he kept wrapped around his waist, drawing out his inhaler to suck in air from. Shane chuckled, tugging on the collar of his obnoxious Hawaiian tee-shirt he seemed to always be wearing.

"Why did you even want to drag us out here in the first place, Steven?" Andrew asked, crossing his arms and leaning against the post beside the porch steps. "To serve as some kind of testament to your bravery?"

"Oh, come on, Andrew. Don't you want a chance to prove those Fulmers wrong once and for all?"

"No," Andrew said. "They're just a bunch of low-lifes that pick on kids who are four fucking years younger than them. Why do you care so much what those guys think?"

"It's Halloween, Andrew. I just want to have some fun since we've outgrown going door-to-door to beg total strangers to give us their candy," Steven said.

"But why do _I_ have to be here? I can barely keep my eyes open as it is, and you know I have to be up early tomorrow for my Hebrew lessons," Andrew groaned.

"Come on, our favorite skeptic _has_ to be here to witness the Goatman himself." Steven shot him a smirk. "If he _does_ choose to show himself, that is."

"Hey! When did we decide on  _Andrew_  being the favorite out of us skeptics? You know I don't believe in any of this Goatman-Shmoatman bullshit either," Shane proclaimed, and Steven sighed.

"Shane, no one invited you on this ghost hunt to begin with. All you're gonna do is annoy the hell out of us with your bad demon puns," he said, and Shane chuckled. "At least Andrew's got some respect despite not believing in them."

"Admit it, old Steve man, you'd all be bored out of your minds if I weren't here to lighten the mood," Shane said. "And, besides, Ryan needs me here to protect him from the ghosties. Don't you, baby?"

"Shut _up,_ Shane!" Ryan snapped, pushing the gangly boy off of him. "And don't call me baby."

Shane just threw his head back, cackling like the maniac he was as Ryan finally tucked his inhaler back into his fanny pack.

"Ryan, aren't you the least bit curious what lies inside this house?" Steven asked.

"No way!" Ryan exclaimed, taking a single step back in defense. "You morons can go check it out for yourselves, I'm staying out here!"

"It's much safer in there than out here, you know," Steven said. "It's late at night in the middle of buttfuck nowhere. Loads of serial killers lurk in the woods, waiting for some stupid kid to wander out here so they can attack them."

Ryan's gut plummeted as he began to look all around him. He settled his gaze on the ground in front of the house, considering his options. 

"Yeah, c'mon, Ryan." Shane poked him in the ribs. "I'll hold your hand if you get scared."

"Fuck off," Ryan warned, then lifted his head to look Steven in the eye. "Fine. I'll do it."

Steven smiled. 

"But I have to be home in an hour. My mom'll kill me if I'm out past midnight," he said as he skipped up the front porch along with Shane and Andrew. "And we better be sticking together! None of that splitting up shit they do in Scooby-Doo!"

Shane laughed, pushing past Steven before he knocked on the door, insisting he do it. "If the Goatman is here, I wanna be the one to greet him."

Ryan stood as far behind as he could, shaking as Shane knocked on the door three times with his fist.

"Shane, you idiot!" Ryan scolded, backing away even further. "You're not supposed to knock three times! Everyone knows that's the devil's number!" 

"Gee, Shane, one of these days you'll get us _killed_  living as dangerously as you do," Andrew responded sarcastically, and Shane laughed harder than he had yet that night. Steven shushed him as the boys, excluding Ryan, put their ears to the door, listening in. 

After a few moments, they were met with only silence, so Shane shrugged as he grabbed a hold of the doorknob, twisting it and creaking open the decrepit door, and a pitch darkness creeped into view.

Steven shined his flashlight inside, stopping on the old, tattered crimson rug that was spread across the floor of the entrance, swallowing as he made his first steps inside, and Shane stuffed his hands into the pockets of his tight black jeans as he and Andrew followed behind.

Ryan hesitated for a bit, heart racing as he stared into the depths of the house, until he realized his friends were in there, while he was outside all alone. Glancing behind him to make sure no murderers had followed them, he quickly jogged inside to keep up with the rest of the group.

"Wow." Steven shined his light on the wooden walls of the living room, covered in dirt and grime. Shane pointed out a white stain.

"Hey, look. It's Ryan's mom's squirt," he quipped, and Ryan shot him an annoyed look. Andrew and Steven groaned as they turned away, walking around the room to investigate more.

Steven stared in awe as he pointed his flashlight at the twisting stairs that stood in the middle of the foyer. "Do we wanna check out upstairs?"

"U-Upstairs?" Ryan stuttered, his legs feeling like jelly as they shook underneath him. "What if we can't make it back down in time i-if the Goatman's th-there?" 

"Demons aren't real, silly," Shane said, patting his friend on the back. 

"Yeah, most of that supernatural bullshit can be explained away with science," Andrew explained. "And, you know, basic logic."

Shane took Ryan's hand in his. "Come on."

Ryan let out a small yelp as Shane pulled him toward the bottom of the stairs. "Shane, no, I don't want to-" He wrenched his hand away, shaking it out in disgust. "I don't want to go up there."

"The Goatman's not gonna get you," Shane said. "Not with me around. He'd be stupid to test me."

Steven laughed. "To test  _you?_ How would you even fight him, with your noodles for arms?"

Shane flipped his middle finger at Steven. "Fuck you, man. I could take him."

"You can barely lift _Ryan_ up off the ground. And that's saying something," Andrew commented. "The kid's a midget compared to us."

"I'm five feet tall!" Ryan exclaimed.

"A midget," Andrew repeated.

Ryan huffed, crossing his arms at the three taller boys.

"And anyway, what's the Goatman gonna do with the four of us against him?" Shane asked.

"Ned told me he's an all-powerful being," Steven explained. "I don't think you want to mess with him."

"Yeah, Shane!" Ryan agreed. "We should stay down here where we're safe... for the most part."

Shane eyed Steven. "I thought you wanted to be brave."

"I-I do," he admitted. "I just think, you know, Ryan's right. If he's up there, if he's even real, there's no chance of escape."

"Also, it's kind of an old-ass house. You might fall through those weak floors if you go up there," Andrew reasoned.

Shane rolled his eyes, turning to face the stairs as he started up them. "You guys are a bunch of wusses."

"No! Shane, you're gonna die!" Ryan called out. "Please come back down!"

"What's the worst that could happen? I get eaten alive by a giant half-goat half-man?" Shane said, laughing. "You're all crazy."

"No, _you're_ crazy, Shane," Andrew shot back. "And that's coming from a skeptic. You're going to kill yourself up there."

But Shane ignored them as he stepped up to the top floor, shining his flashlight on a chest sitting in front of the one window, the only object in the entire room. 

"Guys, check this out!" Shane shouted. "There's, like, a treasure chest up here!"

Steven's head perked up.

"Oh no, you are _not_ going up there, Steven," Andrew ordered.

"Come on, guys," Steven said. "It's probably safe... enough."

"I swear to god." Andrew followed behind Steven as they walked up the stairs to keep an eye on his friend. Ryan stayed downstairs, refusing to leave the foyer.

Shane unlocked the chest as Steven and Andrew kneeled beside him, opening it to reveal a bunch of old clothes, a pair of lacy underwear sitting on top of the pile and earning a chuckle from Shane.

"Hey, you think some homeless strippers live here?" he guessed. "Maybe they'll give us a free ride, if you know what I mean."

"Fuck off, man." Andrew shoved him. "You brought us up here for nothing."

"Not nothing." Shane's lips pulled into a mischievous grin as he lifted the black underwear from the clothes pile, then smothered it in Andrew's face. "Take a big whiff!"

"Gross!" Andrew scrunched up his nose, smacking his friend's hand away. "Get that shit out of my face, it probably has old-lady cum on it!"

"You know you'd love that," Shane said with a wink, and Andrew furrowed his eyebrows.

"Suck my dick, Madej."

"What? All two inches?"

"Guys, shut up!" Steven demanded.

"This whole fucking trip was a waste of time. Let's just go home," Andrew said.

"Ooh, we can sleepover at my place! My mom just rented an R-rated movie that I know how to sneak up to my room," Shane said.

"Sounds like a plan to-"

_Creak._

The boys flipped their heads around lightning-fast, their breaths catching in their throats.

"What was that?" Steven whispered.

They watched the stairs closely, until a shadow loomed into view, and they all shrieked, grabbing onto one another to huddle for safety.

The shadow flicked its flashlight over its face, revealing a worried expression on Ryan's face. "It's just me!" he whispered.

"Oh." Shane scratched the back of his head, laughing while the other two boys let out deep breaths in attempt to calm down.

"You were up here for a long time," Ryan said. "I was worried something happened to you. I mustered up a lot of courage to come up, you know. The least you could do is say thanks."

Ryan looked annoyed as he walked over to them, dropping to his knees beside Shane.

"We were just talking about going home," Steven explained. "We're gonna sleepover at Shane's."

"Oh, thank god," Ryan said. "I can't wait to get out of here. This place is spooking me out." He shivered as he stood along with the other three.

"Wait." Shane stopped, shining his flashlight on his own face. "Now that Ryan's up here, maybe we should try and provoke... the  _Goatman,_ " he said, putting on his best spooky voice.

"Shane!" Ryan whined. "I didn't come up here to-"

"Oh,  _Goatman!_ " Shane called. "My pal Ryan over here would  _love_  to see you! Tickle his pickle, or blow him!" Ryan shoved his friend, but Shane only returned to his position, laughing. "Come on! His cock is just  _aching_  for some'a that  _love and affection!_ "

"Shane, stop it!" 

"Yeah, Shane, this is just stupid," Andrew said. "No Goatman is gonna appear to fuck the living shit out of Ryan. Who would want to, anyway?"

"Hey!" Ryan shouted.

"Demons! Come out, come out wherever you are!"

"I said stop it!"

They waited, Steven and Ryan expecting some animorph creature to pop out from the shadows at any given moment. Andrew just waited for it to be over.

"The Goatman's gonna kill us," Ryan said, hands shaking.

Shane giggled, pinching his friend's cheek. "You're so cute when you're scared!" Ryan waved his hand away.

Shane stood up tall. "Well," he said. "Guess the Goatman's too much of a _coward_ to show himself. Come on, guys, let's go-"

A figure stepped out from the dark, and Ryan screamed as he fell back onto the wooden floor, breaking beneath him.

He felt himself sinking, until he was falling, and gasping out his last breath of air.

" _Ryan!_ "


	2. Go On Without Me

"Ryan!" 

The three of them loomed over the big hole left in the now broken wooden floor, where Ryan had fallen into, and their hearts filled with panic.

The figure that jumpscared Ryan was still lingering somewhere behind them, but they were unable to tear their eyes away from Ryan, who was frozen on the ground a floor below them, screaming out in agony as he grabbed onto his own limp arm.

"Oh, dear," a woman's voice tsked, and the boys gasped as they whipped their heads around, being met with the face of a sweet old lady, a pitiful look on her face. "I hadn't meant to frighten your poor friend like that. I'm so terribly sorry."

Steven held his chest as he breathed out in relief. "Oh my god," he said. "We thought... we thought you were-"

"The Goatman?" The old woman shook with laughter. "Ah, yes. I get folks around here every Halloween, coming to see if the old legend is true. But I'll tell you a secret," she lowered her voice to a whisper, and the boys leaned their heads in to listen, "he isn't real." 

Steven furrowed his eyebrows. "Wait, you- so you live here?"

"Guys!" Shane shouted, desperation in his voice. "We don't have time for this! We have to get Ryan to a hospital!"

"Your friend will be fine," the old lady said, and Shane bit his lip to hold back his tears. "Wouldn't you rather stay here and chat? I can make us some tea, maybe make toast if you-"

"No," Andrew cut her off. "For once, Shane is right. I'm sorry, lady, you've been really kind to us, but Ryan needs our help down there."

The three of them made a start toward the door, but suddenly, with a whoosh of air, it slammed shut on them, and they all stumbled back in surprise, turning their head towards the woman, who had a growing smirk on her lips.

"Not so fast," she purred in a deep, low voice, and it was like a shock to the system as it finally registered who this woman really was in Steven, Andrew, and Shane's minds.

They watched in plain horror as horns began to twist up out of the woman's head, and brown fur began to grow on her skin until her pale, white wrinkles were no longer visible. She smiled a toothy smile as she began to grow nightmarishly bigger, and they stared up at the beast now before them. 

The demon had been a shapeshifter.

"That little friend of yours is mine!" the Goatman shouted as he charged after the boys, who all shrieked in terror as he shoved them out of his way, then dropped down the hole and onto the floor below them. 

Steven and Andrew laid there on the ground as Shane scrambled himself up, running to the door and pulling and twisting on the doorknob. "It won't budge!"

"There's no way out, Shane!" Andrew exclaimed, fear and sorrow evident on his face.

But Shane didn't take that for an answer. "There's always a way out."

He frantically searched the room, every crevice and corner, until his eyes landed on the chest from earlier. He dashed over, flipping it open and tossing all of the garments in it aside.

"It's no use," Andrew stated. "There's nothing we can do."

"Oh, yes there is," Shane said, and Andrew and Steven watched him as he pulled a big baseball bat out from the chest, their jaws dropping as he positioned it in his hands, and he ran to the door again. Swinging it back, he gave one smash into the feeble old door, leaving a giant hole in the middle. "Come on, guys."

He kept the baseball bat in hand as he climbed through the hole, Andrew and Steven following him, and they rushed down the stairs and into the living room. Shane's expression dropped upon seeing the Goatman, who already had Ryan in a chokehold as he grinned down at the boys. Ryan was pulling at the beast's strong arm with his only useful one, as his other was twisted at his side, undeniably broken. The group could see that he was turning red in the face as he gasped for air, and the Goatman chuckled at the small boy he held. 

Shane gathered a hold of himself, furrowing his eyebrows as he lifted the bat. "Let him go!"

"No!" the demon growled, his smile turning to a snarl. "I shall drag his poor soul down to hell with me, where I will feast on his very flesh, until his screams fade and he's nothing but a crumb!" 

Andrew couldn't help it. He hadn't believed in any of this demon bullshit, but now this was all so real. So very, very real. He started to cry. Steven noticed, pulling him in as he rubbed his back in soothing circles, and they stayed behind as the creature spoke again.

"Unless, of course, you three would take his place," he said, and Shane lowered his bat, their eyebrows raising in fear.

"No!" Ryan whined.

The demon smiled. "I will gladly let the little guy go in exchange for you three. He will be safe. He'll live and prosper on this earth until he grows old and dies. What will it be, boys?" he continued his offer, and they paused. 

It was Ryan, afterall, and the group loved the younger of the four like a little brother. They couldn't bear living with themselves if they just let him go, to be tortured in hell by the Goatman.

"Please. Just go on," Ryan tried to discourage their thoughts, but they had already discussed it amongst themselves, and it was too late. Andrew began to hold out his hand to the demon.

"You've got yourself a dea-"

"Shane, what are you doing!?" Steven shouted.

In a spur of the moment decision, Shane swung his bat back. "I'm gonna knock this fucking goat out of the park!"

The bat landed on the Goatman's head with an audible thump, and the demon had no choice but to let go of Ryan as he fell back, grabbing onto his aching head. "Yeeouch!"

In one swift movement, Shane grasped Ryan's wrist, pulling him and not letting go as the four ran together. 

"Why, you little brat!" the Goatman shouted as he pushed himself off the ground, clawing the floors as he darted across the room toward the kids.

They bolted out the entrance of the house, hearing a loud yelp behind them and looking back to see the Goatman stumbling back. He did so each time he tried to escape the house, but it continued to force him back. "Get back here, you mangy rascals!"

Shane smiled upon realization. "He can't leave the house."

"He's tied down to it," Steven noted, watching in awe as the demon repeatedly hit against the invisible forcefield of the house's only exit. 

Shane began to laugh in utter disbelief as he pulled Ryan closer. "Come on, guys. Let's get him home so his mom can take him to the hospital."

Andrew and Steven nodded, and the four stepped down the front porch, until a draft of wind hit their faces, and they saw the wheels of four bikes skidding to a stop in front of them, followed by laughter.

The Fulmer Gang.

Ned hopped off his bike, dropping it carelessly onto the ground as he approached the four, who stepped back until they hit the front step behind them. "What are you losers doing here?" 

Eugene, Keith, and Zach climbed off their bikes in unison, following their leader as they began to crack their knuckles, and Steven gulped.

"We- we just came to- to find out if the Goatman legend was true," he stuttered, earning a chuckle from the gang.

"Only a bunch of idiots like you would believe that shit," Ned said, his posse laughing behind him, and then his eyes shifted to Ryan's arm. "What happened to the kid?"

"I-I broke my arm when I fell... fr-from the attic," Ryan explained, and Shane pushed him back slightly, standing in front of him in defense as he squinted his eyes up at Ned.

"You fell from the attic, huh? Did the Goatman getcha?!" Ned sprang forth, and Ryan shrieked, falling on his butt as the gang laughed at him. 

"Hey! Why don't you go pick on someone your own damn size?" Shane exclaimed, and Ned frowned.

"You think you're smart, huh?" Ned grabbed Shane, dragging him with him as he made his way to the entrance of the house.

"Shane!" his friends called after him, but the rest of the Fulmer gang held them back.

"Ned, no! The Goatman's in there!" Shane shouted, but Ned just laughed.

"The Goatman, huh? Well, then you're about to spend the rest of the night with him!" 

Shane pulled on his hand, trying to wrench it away from Ned's grip.

"Shane! Your bat!" Andrew said, and Shane turned around, catching the bat in his hand after Andrew tossed it to him, and he slammed it against Ned's wrist.

"Ow! You son of a-"

Shane shoved Ned inside the house while he still had time, and they all watched as Ned screamed out, his body being dragged down into the floor with the beast. 

Eugene, Keith, and Zach cried out in horror, dropping the three boys to the ground as they shouted "let's get out of here!" and hopped onto their bikes, pedaling away a fast as they could.

"Well," Andrew said, crossing his arms. "Looks like the Goatman got his meal for the night afterall."

Steven laughed, patting his friend on the back.

Ryan sniffled, holding onto his broken arm and looking up at Shane. "It hurts, Shane."

"I know, baby," Shane replied, pulling the smaller boy close to his side as they all walked down the sidewalk. "We're gonna get you to a hospital as soon as we can, don't worry. Do you want me to carry you?"

Ryan nodded, wiping the snot from his nose. "Uh-huh," he whimpered, and Shane didn't hesitate to lift Ryan up off the ground, who wrapped his legs around the older boy's waist. "And don't call me baby."

Shane laughed, running his hand up and down Ryan's back to comfort him, and Ryan tucked his head in his shoulder.

Man, he had hated it when Shane called him baby. 

Smiling into Shane's touch, he nuzzled his head further into his neck.

But today, he realized, he had sort of liked it, too.


End file.
